💞 Relationship Health Calculator
Assess your relationship and discover how to make it stronger
Assess Your Relationship Health
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, but how do you know if yours is truly healthy? Our relationship health calculator helps you assess the current state of your partnership across eight key dimensions that relationship experts agree are crucial for long-term success. Whether you're curious about areas to improve or want to celebrate your strengths, this assessment provides valuable insights in just a few minutes.
Over 67,000 couples have used this tool to better understand their relationship dynamics. The results aren't meant to scare you or predict doom - instead, they're designed to help you identify specific areas where small improvements can make a big difference. Remember: every relationship can grow stronger with awareness and effort from both partners.
Why Check Your Relationship Health?
Think of this assessment like a health check-up for your relationship. Just as you'd visit a doctor for a physical, checking in on your relationship's health helps you catch potential issues early and celebrate what's working well. Many couples wait until problems become severe before seeking help, but proactive assessment can prevent small issues from becoming major crises.
This calculator evaluates your relationship across eight critical areas:
- Communication Quality: How well you share thoughts, feelings, and needs
- Conflict Resolution: Your ability to navigate disagreements constructively
- Quality Time: The amount and quality of time you spend together
- Intimacy: Physical and emotional closeness
- Trust: The foundation of reliability and security
- Mutual Support: How you encourage each other's growth and goals
- Overall Happiness: Your general satisfaction with the relationship
- Future Vision: Whether you both see a path forward together
Understanding Your Results
Your relationship health score ranges from 40% to 100%, with specific feedback tailored to your results. Here's what to expect:
85-100% - Excellent Health: Your relationship is thriving! You communicate well, trust each other deeply, and have strong emotional bonds. Keep nurturing what you've built together with regular check-ins and quality time.
70-84% - Good Health: You have a solid foundation with good communication, trust, and connection. There may be a few areas that need attention, but overall your relationship is healthy. Focus on strengthening weaker areas.
55-69% - Needs Attention: Your relationship has potential but needs work. There are concerning patterns that, if addressed now, can prevent future problems. This is a great time to invest in couples counseling or relationship workshops.
Below 55% - Requires Serious Work: Your relationship is facing significant challenges. This doesn't mean it's over - many couples overcome difficulties with professional help and commitment - but you need to take action now. Consider seeking couples therapy.
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Healthy relationships share common characteristics that research has consistently identified. While no relationship is perfect, thriving couples typically demonstrate:
- Open, honest communication without fear of judgment
- Ability to resolve conflicts without blame or contempt
- Mutual respect for boundaries and individuality
- Regular quality time together and apart
- Physical and emotional intimacy that satisfies both partners
- Trust and transparency in actions and words
- Support for each other's personal growth and goals
- Shared values and life vision
- Ability to have fun and laugh together
- Willingness to work through challenges as a team
How to Strengthen Your Relationship
No matter what score you receive, every relationship can benefit from intentional effort. Here are evidence-based strategies that relationship therapists recommend:
Practice Active Listening: When your partner speaks, truly listen without planning your response. Reflect back what you heard to ensure understanding. This single skill can transform your communication.
Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time weekly or monthly to discuss how you're both feeling about the relationship. Address small issues before they grow.
Learn Each Other's Love Languages: Understanding how your partner gives and receives love can dramatically improve your connection. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts.
Prioritize Quality Time: In our busy world, intentional time together is crucial. Regular date nights, shared hobbies, and unplugged conversations help maintain your bond.
Seek Professional Help When Needed: There's no shame in couples counseling - in fact, it's a sign of strength and commitment. A skilled therapist can help you develop better communication patterns and resolve longstanding issues.
When to Seek Professional Help
While this calculator provides helpful insights, certain situations require professional guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor:
- Any form of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, or financial)
- Infidelity or broken trust that you can't rebuild alone
- Recurring arguments about the same issues with no resolution
- Emotional distance or feeling like roommates instead of partners
- Considering separation or divorce
- Major life transitions causing relationship stress
- Persistent feelings of unhappiness or resentment
- Communication breakdown where you can't talk without fighting
Remember: seeking help early is always better than waiting until the relationship is in crisis. Couples therapy works best when both partners are still invested in making things work.
Games to Reconnect and Have Fun
One of the best ways to strengthen your bond is through playful interaction. Our interactive relationship games are designed to help couples at any stage deepen their connection, improve communication, and rediscover the fun in their relationship:
- Truth or Dare - Perfect for opening up and learning new things about each other through fun questions and challenges
- Hot & Cold - Build anticipation and explore each other's desires through playful guessing and discovery
- Drink or Dare - Add laughter and spontaneity to date night with fun, lighthearted challenges
- Sexopoly - An intimate board game that adds excitement and variety to your physical connection
Your Relationship Health Score
Understanding Your Relationship Health Score
Now that you've received your relationship health score, let's break down what it means and explore specific actions you can take to strengthen your bond.
Score Interpretation Guide
85-100% - Thriving Relationship: Congratulations! Your relationship is in excellent health. You communicate openly, trust deeply, and maintain strong emotional and physical intimacy. This level of relationship health is something to celebrate and maintain. Continue with regular date nights, open communication, and don't take your connection for granted. Even healthy relationships benefit from ongoing investment and attention.
70-84% - Healthy Relationship: You have a solid, healthy relationship with a strong foundation. There may be one or two areas that could use some attention, but overall you're doing well. Focus on identifying which specific categories scored lower and work together on those areas. Small improvements can take you from good to great.
55-69% - Room for Growth: Your relationship shows both strengths and challenges. This score suggests there are patterns that need addressing to prevent future problems. The good news? You've caught these issues at a stage where they're still very workable. Consider couples counseling, relationship workshops, or self-help resources focused on the areas where you scored lowest. With commitment from both partners, you can significantly improve your relationship health.
40-54% - Serious Concerns: Your relationship is facing significant challenges that require immediate attention. This doesn't mean the relationship is doomed - many couples come back from this level with professional help and mutual commitment. However, you both need to honestly assess whether you're willing to do the work required. Couples therapy is strongly recommended. If you're experiencing any form of abuse, please seek help from domestic violence resources immediately.
Below 40% - Critical State: Your relationship is in a critical state that requires serious evaluation. While some relationships can be saved with intensive professional intervention, you both need to honestly consider whether this relationship is healthy for you. If there's any abuse, please prioritize your safety and contact domestic violence resources. If you're both committed to change, seek immediate professional help from a licensed couples therapist.
The Four Health Categories Explained
Communication (💬): This measures how openly and effectively you share thoughts, feelings, and needs with each other. High scores indicate you listen actively, express yourselves clearly, and feel heard by your partner. Lower scores suggest communication breakdowns, avoidance of difficult conversations, or feeling misunderstood. To improve: practice active listening, use "I" statements instead of "you" accusations, and schedule regular check-ins.
Emotional Bond (💕): This reflects the depth of your emotional intimacy and connection. High scores mean you feel emotionally close, understood, and supported. Low scores may indicate emotional distance, feeling like roommates, or not sharing your inner world. To improve: share your feelings more openly, show empathy when your partner is vulnerable, and create opportunities for deeper conversations.
Compatibility (🤝): This assesses how well you work together as a team, including trust, conflict resolution, and mutual support. High compatibility means you resolve disagreements constructively, trust each other, and support each other's growth. Low scores suggest frequent conflicts, trust issues, or competing rather than collaborating. To improve: focus on teamwork over winning arguments, rebuild trust through consistent actions, and celebrate each other's successes.
Growth Potential (🌱): This measures your optimism about the relationship's future and your shared vision. High scores indicate you both see a future together and are excited about it. Low scores suggest uncertainty, different life goals, or questioning the relationship's viability. To improve: discuss your individual and shared goals, make plans together, and invest in creating positive shared experiences.
Practical Steps for Improvement
Regardless of your score, here are concrete actions you can take immediately to strengthen your relationship:
- Start a daily appreciation practice: Each day, tell your partner one specific thing you appreciate about them or something they did.
- Institute weekly date nights: Dedicate at least 2-3 hours per week to quality time together without distractions.
- Learn conflict resolution skills: Read books like "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman or take an online course together.
- Practice vulnerability: Share something you're afraid to say at least once a week. This builds emotional intimacy.
- Get professional help if needed: Don't wait until things are critical. Couples therapy is preventive medicine for relationships.
- Create shared rituals: Whether it's morning coffee together, weekend walks, or monthly adventures, rituals strengthen bonds.
- Prioritize physical touch: Hold hands, hug for at least 20 seconds daily, and maintain physical connection beyond just intimacy.
- Support each other's individual growth: Encourage your partner's hobbies, friendships, and personal goals.
When Professional Help Makes Sense
Consider seeking couples counseling or therapy if:
- Your score is below 70% and you're both committed to improvement
- You're stuck in negative patterns that keep repeating despite your efforts
- Communication has broken down and you can't have productive conversations
- There's been infidelity or a major trust breach
- You're considering separation but haven't tried professional help yet
- One or both partners struggle with individual issues (anxiety, depression, trauma) affecting the relationship
- Major life transitions are causing relationship stress
Remember: couples therapy isn't just for relationships in crisis. Many healthy couples use therapy to enhance their already good relationships and develop better skills for navigating challenges together.